Sometimes, no matter how much you love your job, you just get burnt out. Sometimes you forget why you’ve looked forward to going to work for the past ten years. And sometimes, you just get depressed. That “sometimes” has been all the time for me, at least for these last couple of months.
I’m usually a pretty upbeat girl—I smile a lot, laugh a lot, and overall, I enjoy and appreciate life. But lately, I’ve not been the “Little Miss Sunshine” I’ve come to know myself as. Instead of spending my summer weekends at the beach or out with friends, I’ve been sleeping or working. I don’t feel inspired, and I haven’t been very active. And since this is the first bout of depression that I’ve faced sober, I can’t drink over it. So I just… sleep. Or indulge in the occasional tub of ice cream.
What really made me realize that I’ve been depressed has been my lack of enthusiasm at work. I usually look forward to every shoot I have booked, and I just haven’t felt that way recently. In fact, I’ve found myself wishing it was the day after the shoot so it was already over and behind me. The sets and the girls have become one big, dull blur to me. And that frightens me, because if there’s one thing that has kept me going for the last decade—if there is one thing that I love and care about so much I’m willing to sacrifice my time and my social life for—it’s work. And faced with a possibility that I may no longer love my work, I feel empty. What am I going to care about now? What will drive me to get out of bed every day?
Thankfully, a solution presented itself to me just last week. Apparently the recipe to get me out of my slump was simple: two beautiful girls and a feather duster.
Now the opulent mansion location, the amazing clothes, the fun concept, and the great makeup certainly added to concoction that was one of the best shoots ever, but really I’d like to credit my return to sanity to Roxy Deville and Teagan Presley. I knew both girls were pros, but I had no idea what a dynamic pair they would make, especially cast in the roles of mistress and maid.
Shooting scenes with domination/submission roles has always been a favorite concept of mine. The typical sex scenes are almost always the same: Cue some corny scenario, and then onto the typical and rehearsed positions of blowjob, missionary, doggie-style, spoon, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and pop-shot. But fetish—now that’s something a little more involved. Instead of the straight-up dick-in-vagina penetration, you get to play with the mind a little. It becomes a game of intellectual as well as physical stimulation. It’s an intoxicating mix of pleasure and pain, anticipation and fulfillment. There’s so much more play before you get to the actual sex act, all that anticipation makes the sex all the more exciting.
The photos went really well, as they usually do. In photos, the girls don’t usually have to perform in the way they will have to when it comes time for the video. Obviously, being a good model takes skill, but being a good performer is something I think is much more involved. Posing for pictures is one thing, but delivering lines and a certain kind of sexual character is quite another.
So when the photos were done, we began to set up for the video. Despite Roxy’s protests that she is a true submissive and can’t play a domme well, I suspected differently. Roxy is one of those talented girls that can probably play any role you throw her way, and she’ll do a damn good job of it. Teagan I wasn’t so sure about. It had been such a long time since I’d last shot her, so I’d forgotten what she was like in scenes. She’d been a contract star with Digital Playground for the past couple of years, and I wasn’t about to watch any of their movies to see if she could act at all. Nothing against Digital, but I don’t watch porn these days unless it’s mine. And I only watch the scenes I direct for quality control purposes.
Teagan, of course, totally blew me away. As the submissive maid, she had the downward cast eyes just right, but she also brought an adorably bratty attitude that enticed Roxy to punish her even further. Just as you would think Roxy had spanked her little maid into dutiful obedience, Teagan would take her little feather duster and in a very quick and almost inconspicuous manner, “dust” Roxy. This was done in such a charmingly mischievous way that I couldn’t help but be overcome by giggles. I actually had to call cut so I could have a laughing fit on the floor, because my camera was shaking from the giggles I was trying so hard to stifle.
The scene was about to end, and I really felt that the girls couldn’t have played their roles more perfectly. Just when I thought that I couldn’t have been happier with the shoot, Roxy ended the scene with the perfect touch. After fucking Teagan to orgasm with a strap-on, and then getting hers by shoving Teagan’s face in between her own legs, Roxy sent her slave off with one last feat to be completed. Bending Teagan over, Roxy stuck the feather duster inside her naughty servant. Framed by Teagan’s famous ass cheeks, the feather duster made quite a tail as Teagan crawled away from the camera and back to the drapes that she hadn’t finished dusting.
And that was a wrap! It was this scene that kicked me out of the rut I felt I’d been working in for the past few months. Suddenly I remembered why I loved my job, and it was because of shoots like this. I love my job because of girls like Teagan and Roxy, and because of small details like a feather duster inside a girl’s vagina.